Kira: Farewell

On Friday May 19, 2017, Mike and I got up at 7am which is really early for Mike. I immediately started crying so I took a Xanax. It didn’t help, so I took a second one. The crying stopped.

I took Kira out back and I has second thoughts because she seemed so spry and happy. But I knew that I didn’t want to get to the point that she was miserable like the previous few nights.

We wanted her to have a fond morning in hopes that she would enjoy her last day. So we made a special breakfast for Kira. A few kibbles, a can of dog food, some cheese, and some stew. She gobbled it down like she use to do 5 years ago.

We then took her for a walk. Normally Kira would walk half way up the lane with Mike and then sit down and wait for him to come back and then she would limp home and collapse in her bed in my office. But today she walked the entire way up the lane with both Mike and me and came back without any problems. Her hips were clearly in pain but she seemed like she was a year younger.

It made me cry because I worried that I was doing this too early. But then I thought about the last few days and hearing how labored her breath was and the past month of her deficating while sleeping and not even waking up. I could be trying to humanize her, but she seemed upset when she woke and realized she had and accident. I realize that she was just an animal, but somehow I do think she got upset when she had an accident.20170519-0712,32 (s60-f2.0-374).jpg

The Vet arrived promptly at 8am. We locked Clifford and Goofy McGooface in the master bedoom. Kira was laying on her bed that we had setup in the dining area and she didn’t take much notice of the Vet. We talked with the Vet for a bit and asked to pay before the doing the procedure. We did this in part so that Kira wouldn’t get upset thinking that something was going on.

I hugged Kira as did Mike and held her as the Vet injected something that would put her into a deep sleep. Kira jumped when the needle went in, but took it like a champ. She slowly fell asleep as I held her and talked to her. She stopped focusing on me as she went completely limp. Mike started chattering about what was medically happening and I asked him to be quiet. Mike then chattered with the Vet saying that he and I deal with this differently and that he needs to talk about it. I just wanted it to be solem and quiet. Even with two Xanax, I still cried my eyes out.

I had put a towel on top of the waterproof blanket knowing that she would pee when she died. My previous dogs peed when the drug was injected that put them to sleep. But Kira didn’t.

Kira’s tongue extended from her mouth and she was breathing silently but clearly sleeping. I pet on her a bit and looked into her eyes and talked to her to say goodbye. Then we told the Vet to go ahead and she injected the chemical that stopped her heart.

Kira died at about 8:30. After listening to her in various locations to verify that her heart had stopped, we waited about 5 minutes while the Vet prepared her vehicle to take the body to have it cremated. I picked her up in the towel and carried her to the door. I don’t know why there was a delay but half way to the door she peed. It was kind of the proof that she was gone for good.

I gently placed her in the back of the Vets Subaru. The Vet gently covered her and we went back in the house as the Vet drove away.

Mike and I didn’t talk much at all. We let the dogs out of the bedroom and we went to our respective offices. At about 11:00 we got into my car and drove about an hour to Lovettsville and had lunch at an eclectic place that Melissa Buckelou (the neighbor that cuts our hair) had given us a gift certificate for back at Christmas. We had not used the gift because neither of us could find the time to take off from work to use it. But this seemed like an appropriate time to use it. We weren’t celebrating anything. We just needed a distraction and to get out of the house. We didn’t talk much on the drive there but neither of us cried. The Xanax started wearing off while we were seated so I took another Xanax so that I would not fall apart at the restaurant.

Before we left, I bought Mass Effect Andromeda at full price (I had been waiting for it to go on sale) so that it could download while we were gone and I could immerse myself in the game instead of dwelling on what I had just done to my best dog.

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